The “Maa” equipped with Gajar Ka Halwa
“As we dare run to the comfort of the Old,
The New whirls by taking hold
Making us look into new challenges
Even though we haven't conquered the past.........”
Once upon a time, many decades ago, the word “Mother” meant an elderly lady clad in pastel saris from top to bottom, with a big BINDI, always welcoming the children with hot piping “Gajar ka Halwa” or “Aloo ke Parathe”. With or without the sindoor, one of her favourite outdoor activities would be going to the temple, feeding the beggars and the sole aim of her life finding the perfect match for her children. Close your eyes for a minute; Keep this description in your mind and think of the ideal person to fit the bill (of course, after your own mother): it will be someone closely matching people like Farida Jalal, Rakhi, Jaya Bachan or for the more recent ones someone like Reema Lagoo, Kiron Kher or Seema Pahwa. The hidden figures of our lives who were important but never occupied our life’s centre space. She never went to the gym or worked out; but she proved her mettle with strong mental strength by not succumbing to the physical tortures of the villains till the end.
The Denim-clad Millennial Mom
“The Winds of Change, loudly roaring,
Sets fear into hearts of losing all
But the memories of previous charts……..”
And now, move to the present Millennium Times you find the hard-working single mom clad in Denims and T-shirt competing with the children for Bucks or BFFs. That’s the Millennial Mom. For her the “Divorced/Single again” status is not a threatening but relaxing situation. She is comfortable living with her ex-husband’s parents, meeting her daughter’s boyfriend’s family alone and also tackling her neighbour’s flirtatious advances confidently. She goes on solo trips with her girlfriends on vacations; she works hard to give that extra comfort to her children. She is active on social media as well as in virtual life. She is a fitness- freak who cycles, jogs or treks regularly. Sounds similar to the character Tabu plays in the recent Bollywood movie De De Pyaar De? Yes something similar to that.
Variations of Cool Moms n Dads
Some would find this Millennial Mom so different from “Hindi Medium” or “Helicopter Leela”: that one followed her kid everywhere as a ghostwriter. Many mothers these days relive their childhood through their children. All that they could not do, see, read, wear, eat or drink; they try to do it with their kids or for their kids. This way they also get to be called as the “Cool” moms.
Why talk about only the mothers, the modern day fathers are not far behind too. In a not-so-old movie called Rajma Chawal, the father (played by Rishi Kapoor) tries to rekindle the broken lines of communication with his own son by faking his identity as a young, pretty girl named Tara on Face Book.
Winds of Change
“Resist! Struggle! Be sedentary!
But we are only overcome
As it carries us into a new
Season of life abound.”
Children grew up to be successful even in the Old times with the homely affections of “Maa” of yester years and even today they are growing up to be fine young ones. What is actually worth noting and appreciating is the way we parents tackle these “Winds of Change”. It is not easy to let your desires lie buried deep inside while your children let their passions run high! It must have been difficult for the mothers of yester years to leave their ambitions and look after nurturing their young ones. Similarly, it must not be easy to run the whole household alone; behave responsibly and at the same time look like you enjoy it all!
Yet mothers are doing it; parents are doing it! How? Why?
Adjust Your Sails
None of us are born with all the skills required to become good parents. We all struggle with the ever-changing technologies and also the ways of the world. But what is still common between all the parents irrespective of the times we live in is our ability to “adjust our sails” according to the perils we face in life. So, it’s not like we bury our desires, ambitions for our children. For some time, we keep them aside or on hold till our life settles and lets us make choices that we want. If we are flexible and adjust our sails according to the heavy winds, we survive the hurricanes in our life. If we don’t do so, the heavy winds may destroy our sails; our life like the boat we sail in may sink.
That’s also what these moms from yester years till date have taught us: the best response to sail through is nothing but changing the direction we move in and tinker with the sails.